Working and Homeschool: Dad’s Role In Our House

Schedule Time but Be Flexible 

This will take a little trial and error.  Please don’t think that because you set a schedule that it is set in stone.  I have worked in public brick and mortar schools for 14 years and, when a schedule doesn’t work, even there, it typically gets changed.  The beauty of homeschooling is the flexibility.  Like I said, it will take trial and error but if you keep working through it, you’ll find what works for you.  (Check out my wife’s post for how we make it work for us.) 

I admit that, with Kimi working at home and up until last year, being the primary homeschool teacher, what worked for us was, and really still is, based on her job schedule.  I get off work in the mid-afternoon.  The kids have been working on their lessons for about an hour.  I get to jump into the mix mid-stream.  Since there is already a flow going, I try to take my cues on how to help best from Kimi and the kids. 

Teamwork, Teamwork 

Some days, depending on the evening schedule, and how immersed in direct instruction Kimi is, shortly after I get home, I start dinner.  Other days, she is finishing up work, I jump in to help with the schoolwork and she fixes dinner.  Other times, it’s all hands-on deck and we eat late, or the kids are rolling and doing great and one of us gets a break or we both cook.  It’s a constant ebb and flow. 

For those of you who are on this journey as a working single parent, your team is you and your kids.  Don’t forget that part of schooling can be learning how to do things around the house.  There’s math in cooking for sure.  Consider what work needs your support and what can be done independently and checked by you later. 

Be Present 

As a dad, you’re trying to make a living, provide for your family, have fun with your family, decompress from a work-day, deal with sleep deprivation….there’s just never enough coffee in the world.  If you’re like me, you’re drinking coffee at 2 in the afternoon and 6 in the evening, all in an attempt to give your family more than just what’s left of you after work.  The obligations never end.  The education of your kids is incredibly important to you.  You just need to be present. 

You don’t have to be national teacher of the year, dad of the year, plan over the top lessons designed to be more entertaining than your kids favorite tv show.  You just need to be present.  Be there, along-side your kids and your wife, helping them learn, and maybe even enjoy it.  Be present and help with some cooking or cleaning. 

Check your day at the door 

The times where my relationship with Kimi has suffered is when I let work take over through extended hours or bringing work home and not being present at home.  Don’t get me wrong, there will be obligations that interfere at home.  It’s inevitable.  But that should be the exception not the rule.  As much as possible, especially as a homeschool dad, be there when you are home.  Give them your attention.  Their learning and your relationship with your family will take off. 

Be Patient 

It’s easy to get frustrated or angry when they just don’t want to complete the work or lesson.  Our typical battle is math with Love Bug or reading with Bruiser.  Anyhow, the more patient and calm you are as dad, the more likely they are to be willing to try something difficult and get past their reticence.  Validate their frustration or the fact that they just don’t want to do it by telling them you understand that’s how they feel.  Ask why they feel that way.  Let them know you don’t expect it to be perfect, but you do expect them to try.  Help them be willing to try and make mistakes and learn from the mistakes.  This is how life-long learners are encouraged. 

Expect interruptions 

Interruptions are my biggest frustration.  I have a plan for the evening.  I know how I want it to go so they learn what they need to learn, we all eat at a decent time and together and get to whatever activities are going on.  Then, the plan gets blown away. 

The lessons aren’t finished.  Dinner isn’t finished.  We are running late to practice or whatever else is going on.  I really hate being late.  This is when I have to remind myself, of the beauty of flexibility.  I’m not master of the universe.  Things don’t always go my way.  And honestly, it’s not all about me.  We build a day into the schedule for make-up work for this very reason.  When I expect interruptions, and plan for them to a degree, because we know they are going to happen, they are much easier to accept. 

I know that my demeanor and reaction to things that happen at home, really set the tone for the rest of the day when I’m not at work.  If I am flexible, a team player, present, check my day at the door, patient and expect interruptions, we are far more productive and much happier.  I wish you all the best in your journey to balance work, homeschooling and family.